one year ago today, i was filled with wonderful, happy, la-la land drugs and wheeled down a hall to an operating room. two surgeons waiting to join me to start on my spinal fusion to my L5S1 disc. i had DDD (degenerate disc disease) in this disc. suffered with back problems for the last 20 years of my life...starting as very mild and manageable to completely unmanageable and debilitating.
and i did everything possible known to man to manage this problem of mine...ice packs, heating pads, massage, stretching, icy/hot pads, chiropractic, cortisone shots, etc.... the pain just became worse and consumed every minute of my day. my back doctor told me, one day, my back would stop working...i was like, "yeah, RIGHT"!!!! seriously, i am young, active, in good shape...whatever!!!!
well, that day did arrive. about eight months after the birth of my son, i knew the meaning of your back no longer working for you. i also knew, the only way to possibly fix it and relieve my pain was through a spinal fusion. spinal fusions are only recommended in extreme cases...even my own back doctor never advises his patients to do this...except in my case. apparently, i was the perfect candidate for this procedure.
hmmmmmmmm, i really did not want to get a fusion. they are scary!! long, painful recovery and the worst side effect....you could come out of surgery being paralyzed or in worse pain. lower back spinal fusions had a real bad reputation. hence, why i avoided it and kept on trucking. however, even i knew a life on pain meds was not the answer. yes, i lived on pain meds (excluding both my pregnancies - where chiropractic care came in the picture) they took away the pain and allowed me to function as a human being for the day.
after much thought - real deep thought...my doctor and i both agreed waiting until my son turned one year of age before any surgery was considered. my pregnancy and the birth of my son was pretty rough and my body needed to heal. plus, i wanted to be in better shape for such a serious procedure - i had lots of baby weight to lose.
once my son turned eight months old, i did not think i could make it any longer. as mentioned earlier, my back stopped working for me. here is a picture of me on our annual easter family brunch that i host each year. awwww, it looks so cute, and it is. basically, what i remember from this...after cooking and setting up the buffet table, i could no longer walk without holding onto a table, counter, person...heck, whatever was handy to support me. when this picture was taken - my son was put into my lap as i could no longer pick him up or carry him. after the picture, he was lifted out of my lap and someone assisted helping me stand up.
here is a dear friend of mine who helped carry my little guy around that easter holiday - he wasn't walking yet and he still was a baby, after all...a very large and heavy baby!!! family is great!!!! my husband was needed to assist me with trying to host a gathering of a large crowd. so it was nice that i did not have to worry that my son wasn't be taken care of.
still, i knew i wanted to wait until my son turned one. figured if i keep exercising and strengthen this area i could stretch it out another four months. i did hold out for those four months, but a lot of things happened a long the way:
- i could no longer pick up or carry my baby boy
- i could no longer exercise, even simple light walking had me in a lot of pain afterwards and then finally, after a while on the treadmill, i could feel my legs giving out and not being able to support my back.
- lifting, playing, running with kids was no longer a possibility
- i could no longer carry a case of wine into the house from my car :(
- i could no longer lay in bed with my daughter and read to her at bedtime - i would need to sit in a hard chair next to her bed.
- after sleeping at night, the walk from my bed to the bathroom each and every morning was horrifying. i would need to roll out of bed and crawl my way up to standing position and then would hang onto the dresser, wall, door frame, whatever to get me to the bathroom.
- my morning routine was as follows: eventually get myself downstairs, take my pain meds, grab my ice pack and go sit on the recliner chair. i would stay in that chair for about an hour until all the pain went away and i could then get up and function for the day. my husband would always bring the baby downstairs - get him changed, get my daughter breakfast - hand me the baby so i could give him his bottle. i wanted that bottle time - he would soon be weaning off of it and i was NOT going to forgo these moments. once he was fed, my husband would take the baby off my lap and set him down before he left for work.
- pain meds is what got me through the day, to be as pain-free as possible and able to still take care of my family.
- anything that involved standing or sitting for long periods of time caused me to stiffen up so badly - that it would take a while for the pain to come back down.
- and lastly, when i knew it was time to raise the white flag...just getting up from sitting in a chair could not be done unless there were armrests that i could use to support my weight to pull myself up. even on my pain meds and being comfortable...still could not get out of a chair with ease...
so, a few weeks before my son turned one, i made that appointment with my doctor to get started with preparations to get my spinal fusion. i was scared, nervous and hoping i had made the right decision and thought what ever was going to happen, was going to happen...if i come out of this surgery worse off, so be it. at least i gave it a shot...it was my only shot.
here i am for my son's first birthday party, it was a baby jungle theme! did my best to look and act happy, but i was in a lot of pain, all the time. was on a serious regime of pain-meds to get me through each day :(
my doctor advised me to one of his colleagues, as he no longer performed surgery. i was determined to meet with him and a couple other surgeons to help guide my decision of who would do this. to my surprise, i never did meet with any other surgeons. the surgeon my doctor referred me to was outstanding. i immediately felt very comfortable and confident with him. he providing me with such an education of my problem and that there was a newer procedure (last 15 years) that was highly successful with women of my age, shape, activeness, and L5S1 DDD. it involved performing the fusion through my abdominal area! you heard me correctly, through my tummy, not my back. this particular type of fusion allowed for faster recovery, eliminated the chance of paralysis and was extremely successful with full recovery in one year.
i was totally "IN". so much that i wanted it set up asap, took about a month of paperwork with insurance, lab tests, x-rays, etc...but it was scheduled for july 12, 2011. two surgeons would be performing this operation. one to open my abdominal cavity and separate my organs to provide access to my spine. then my back surgeon took over.
my surgery took about four hours. both surgeons were present at my bed when i woke...like two happy school boys...which even in my drugged state, i knew this meant the surgery went well. and yes, it had....
recovery was tough and painful - but i was walking!!! i was discharged from the hospital after 4 days - I was walking on day 3!!! ok - assisted walking with two physical therapist and a belt to hold me up - but i could stand and walk!! in order to be discharged i had to walk the stairs at the end of the hall - took some time, but did it!! 1 month of bed & semi bed rest. no driving for the first month, no lifting over 5 pounds (one gallon of milk) for the first 3 months and physical therapy for 3 months. and lots and lots of pain meds!!! i was discharged with oxycontin and the highest dose for norco.
i came home with this new, bright, and shiny walker. this was my best pal for about 1-2 months after surgery, especially in the mornings. i have not used it for the last 10 months but i keep it in my room as a reminder...of how far i have come...of course, the kids love playing with it...and lately, i have been thinking it will make for an awesome dip station for my workouts!!!
today, july 12, 2012 - what i CAN do:
- lift and carry my little tank of a son - all 35 pounds of him, with ease!!!!!
- on occasion lift my 50 pound six year daughter too, with ease!!!
- my mornings are so much easier - i can get right out of bed and WALK to the bathroom
- i no longer need my hour in the morning to ease the pain with meds and an ice pack
- i can carry a case of wine into my house from the car!!!! :)
- i can lay in bed with my daughter to read stories, make-up stories and snuggle
- i can walk and jog (running is still not there for me...but will be)
- i do BOOTYCAMP which includes burpees, planks, mountain climbers, etc. though there were things i could not do when i started the class - i CAN now!!!!
- i can dance, cook all day for holidays, jump and run with my little monsters
- i plan on signing up for my FIRST 5k race in september
- i registered for the SUPER SPARTAN race in october....call me crazy, but life is an adventure when you have your back in check!!!
i would say i am about 95% pain-free at this time. yes, i am fully recovered, but even my surgeon agreed, some us may never hit that 100%. my pain meds are the lowest dose of norco and yes, i still need it in the mornings...but hoping one day to never need them again. however, happy to be on such a low dose.
here i am today with my fabulous, crazy family!!! - and i am feeling good, not faking it and trying to mask the pain!!
thanks you for reading my ramble. this is important to me - it is a journey...my journey
